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A successful messaging conversation

There are many things to say at the beginning of a conversation, but mainly its important to keep it light and friendly, and try to avoid highly sensitive issues during the first interactions... for example, keep on non-intrusive topics, and ask in a way that doesn't sound like a "stalking" detective type, instead of "what do you do each day", phrase is this way:  "So, what do you like to do usually during the day"...  this focuses on their "likes" versus an investigation of their daily schedule.

Another way to learn more about the person is to ask about things pertaining to the day of the week, for example, if you are starting a conversation on a Monday, the normal thing to ask would be something like "So, how was your weekend?"..   The response might be "Oh, it was great, and yours?"...   again, also keep your RESPONSES light, and try to include things that reflect your better traits, "I also had a great weekend, did some accounting work on my computer, met with a client, exercised a little, and then watched Netflix..."   this can help you unobtrusively ask them "and yourself, what do you usually like to do on the weekend....".. 

As this minor small talk messages progress, they comfort level increases, showing the other person that you have manners and know to have an educated conversation.  This will allow other subject to enter the dialogue, ones that you would never consider starting with. After the brief interchange above, which only took a few minutes, now you both can comfortably delve into more juicy topics.. "What are you looking for on this platform?",  or "How is your process going with meeting new people here"....   

This is great, these topics are interesting, creative, and not boring.  In this very conversation, after maybe a few more minutes of chat, you can comfortably recommend messaging eachother directly on either Instagram or Whatsapp (always propose both options to give them a choice, versus just one option, which only allows them to choose between "yes" or "no").  Then, proceed to confidently close the conversation on a good note- remember, DON'T drag it on for too long, you must show that you value your time and hers.  You can say "ok, great, will message you either here or on whatsapp sometime tomorrow, maybe we could coordinate lunch or an afternoon icecream/frozen yogurt..."     You see, here it's very "non-obligatory" with the MAYBE discreetly placed in there..  they don't feel that any commitment has to be made, that only you will casually reach out the next day to figure out if both of you are available and not too busy to meet up.  This "spontaneity" keeps things the pressure low- on BOTH of you.. its the best way for a great outcome, because if you promise to meet up or call at a specific time, you are only setting yourself up to be "tested" for punctuality and keeping your word.  Best not to take this risk just yet, keep it flexible and open, so that no huge expectation is set. 

These are great tips for the first conversation and setting up the first date.   

2019-04-02

Admistrator